PagesintheDark

Ever since the first day I sat beside you,

and we spoke like the world had paused,

I’ve been looking for you in every room

even the ones I know you’ll never walk into.

Since the first night we shared a bed,

sleep hasn’t belonged to me the same way.

My body doesn’t rest without yours nearby,

as if it learned your presence

and refuses to forget it.

Every day that passes,

no matter the season of our lives,

no matter the distance or the arguments,

you are still the one I want to run to.

For the good news.

For the laughter.

For the ache that needs somewhere safe to land.

I want to bring you my joy,

and my heaviness,

and even my silence.

To sit with you, saying nothing,

finding peace in the simple truth

that you are there.

It feels unreal how completely

you live in my heart and my mind.

How consuming it is.

How exhausting.

And yet,

now that I know this way of loving,

my body rejects any other.

Love feels like too small a word

for what I feel for you.